Be Mindful When Using the Term "Almarhum" or "Almarhumah"

Do Not Arbitrarily Use the Titles "Almarhum" or "Almarhumah"

We are certainly familiar with the terms almarhum or almarhumah. These are titles bestowed upon a specific Muslim deceased as a way to pray for them and show respect. Such expressions were actually not known during the era of the Salaf (early generations). Nevertheless, they are now very popular in society, likely because they are interpreted as a prayer for the deceased. We are not currently discussing the scholarly disputes regarding the general use of these expressions, as that was covered in a previous writing. However, it should be noted that almarhum and almarhumah are Arabic terms commonly used by Muslims—essentially Islamic terms absorbed into the Indonesian language.

If these terms are directed toward fellow Muslims, it is fundamentally acceptable, regardless of the scholarly debate on its permissibility. However, it becomes problematic when these terms are directed toward a deceased person who followed a religion outside of Islam. Almarhum consists of two parts: al + marhum. In Arabic, al is a definite article (ma’rifah) used to specify a noun. Meanwhile, marhum comes from the verb rahima-yarhamu, which is also the root for the words "mercy" or "rahmah." Its verbal form changes into an object noun (nominal) commonly known as isim maf’ul. If rahima-yarhamu means to show mercy or grant grace, then marhum means "the one who is granted mercy." When combined with al to become almarhum, it translates to "He (the deceased) who is granted mercy" or "He who has been given grace."

The issue lies in the concept of "mercy." If we interpret it as a prayer, it is highly encouraged when directed toward a fellow Muslim. It becomes an issue if directed toward someone outside of Islam. This is because praying for mercy for those outside of Islam (kaffir or mushrik) after they have died is forbidden by Allah Ta’ala. Allah says:

مَا كَانَ لِلنَّبِيِّ وَالَّذِينَ آمَنُوا أَنْ يَسْتَغْفِرُوا لِلْمُشْرِكِينَ وَلَوْ كَانُوا أُولِي قُرْبَى مِنْ بَعْدِ مَا تَبَيَّنَ لَهُمْ أَنَّهُمْ أَصْحَابُ الْجَحِيمِ

"It is not for the Prophet and those who have believed to ask forgiveness for the polytheists, even if they were relatives, after it has become clear to them that they are companions of Hellfire." (QS. At-Tawbah: 113).

Imam Al-Wahidi stated:

قَالَ أَهْلُ الْمَعَانِي: قَوْلُهُ "مَا كاَنَ لِلنَّبِيِّ" حَظْرٌ وَتَحْرِيمٌ وَنَهْيٌ

"The experts of Arabic linguistics said: His word, 'It is not for the Prophet...', signifies condemnation, prohibition, and a forbidding command." (At-Tafsir Al-Basith, 11/75)

Imam Ibnu Jarir At-Thabari stated:

أَنَّ النَّهْيَ مِنَ اللهِ عَنِ الْاِسْتِغْفَارِ لِلْمُشْرِكِينَ بَعْدَ مَمَاتِهِمْ لِقَوْلِهِ: "مِنْ بَعْدِ مَا تَبَيَّنَ لَهُمْ أَنَّهُمْ أَصْحَابُ الْجَحِيمِ" وَقَالُوا: ذَلِكَ لَا يَتَبَيَّنَهُ أَحَدٌ إِلَّا بِأَنْ يَمُوتَ عَلَى كُفْرِهِ...

"The prohibition from Allah regarding asking for forgiveness for the polytheists applies after their death, based on His word: '...after it has become clear to them that they are companions of Hellfire.' The scholars said: 'This does not become clear to anyone except by knowing that the person died upon disbelief. As long as they are alive, there is no way to know (their final state), thus the believers may still ask for forgiveness (guidance) for them.'" (Jami’ Al-Bayan, 14/515)

Sheikh Muhammad Rashid Rida said regarding this verse:

وَالْآيَةُ نَصٌّ فِي تَحْرِيمِ الدُّعَاءِ لِمَنْ مَاتَ عَلَى كُفْرِهِ بِالْمَغْفِرَةِ وَالرَّحْمَةِ

"This verse is a clear text (nash) regarding the prohibition of praying for forgiveness and mercy for one who dies upon disbelief..." (Tafsir Al-Manar, 11/46)

Imam Makki Abu Thalib cited a consensus (ijma’) regarding the prohibition of seeking forgiveness for a non-believer:

وَلَمْ يَخْتَلِفْ أَهْلُ الْعِلْمِ فَي الدُّعَاءِ لِلْأَبَوَيْنِ مَا دَامَ حَيَّيْنِ... فَإِذَا مَاتَا عَلَى كُفْرِهِمَا لَمْ يُسْتَغْفَرْ لَهُمَا

"There is no dispute among the people of knowledge regarding the permissibility of praying for parents while they are still alive, regardless of their religion. They may be prayed for regarding success and guidance. However, if they die upon disbelief, then forgiveness may not be sought for them." (Al-Hidayah ila Bulugh An-Nihayah, 4/3172)

According to the majority of scholars (1), this verse was revealed regarding the death of Abu Thalib, the Prophet's uncle who supported the Prophet's mission but died as a polytheist. Even though Abu Thalib was the uncle he loved most—who raised him from childhood and acted as a shield for Islamic dawah when the Quraysh tried to harm him—the Prophet's deep hope for him to embrace Islam was not realized, even on his deathbed. Al-Musayyib bin Huzn narrated:

أَنَّ أَبَا طَالِبٍ لَمَّا حَضَرَتْهُ الوَفَاةُ، دَخَلَ عَلَيْهِ النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ... فَقَالَ النَّبِيُّ صَلَّى اللهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ: "لَأَسْتَغْفِرَنَّ لَكَ مَا لَمْ أُنْهَ عَنْهُ" فَنَزَلَتْ: "مَا كَانَ لِلنَّبِيِّ وَالَّذِينَ آمَنُوا أَنْ يَسْتَغْفِرُوا لِلْمُشْرِكِينَ..."

"When Abu Thalib was about to pass away, the Prophet ﷺ entered to see him while Abu Jahl was present. The Prophet said, 'O uncle, say laa ilaaha illallah, a sentence I will use as an argument for you later before Allah.'... The Prophet ﷺ said, 'I will surely ask for forgiveness for you as long as I am not forbidden from doing so!' Then the verse was revealed: 'It is not for the Prophet and those who have believed to ask forgiveness for the polytheists...'" (QS. At-Tawbah: 113). (Narrated by Al-Bukhari: 3884 and Muslim: 24)

If the Prophet ﷺ was forbidden from seeking forgiveness for his uncle—who clearly contributed to, defended, and helped his mission—simply because he refused to embrace Islam, then what about non-believers who have no contribution at all?

Forgiveness and mercy are directly proportional when interpreted specifically. This is why these two words are often paired in the Qur'an. We find this in the prayers of the prophets, such as the prayer of Adam and Eve when they repented:

قَالَا رَبَّنَا ظَلَمْنَا أَنْفُسَنَا وَإِنْ لَمْ تَغْفِرْ لَنَا وَتَرْحَمْنَا لَنَكُونَنَّ مِنَ الْخَاسِرِينَ

"They both said: 'Our Lord, we have wronged ourselves, and if You do not forgive us and have mercy upon us, we will surely be among the losers.'" (QS. Al-A’raf: 23)

Similarly, the prayer of Prophet Nuh when seeking forgiveness after Allah corrected him for asking to save his non-believing son:

قَالَ رَبِّ إِنِّي أَعُوذُ بِكَ أَنْ أَسْأَلَكَ مَا لَيْسَ لِي بِهِ عِلْمٌ وَإِلَّا تَغْفِرْ لِي وَتَرْحَمْنِي أَكُنْ مِنَ الْخَاسِرِينَ

"He (Nuh) said: 'My Lord, I seek refuge in You from asking that of which I have no knowledge. And unless You forgive me and have mercy upon me, I will be among the losers.'" (QS. Hud: 47).

Allah also pairs these with His attributes, as seen after He commanded the Prophet and companions to seek specific forgiveness:

وَاسْتَغْفِرُوا اللَّهَ إِنَّ اللَّهَ غَفُورٌ رَحِيمٌ

"...And ask forgiveness of Allah. Indeed, Allah is Forgiving and Merciful." (QS. Al-Muzzammil: 20)

It is as if the two are interconnected. Allah forgives His servants through His attribute of mercy. In essence, when Allah forgives a servant, He has inherently granted them mercy. It is impossible for Allah to forgive someone without first having mercy on them. Furthermore, forgiveness is the cause for Allah's mercy in the hereafter. Allah only admits into Paradise those servants upon whom He has bestowed mercy, and the indication of such a servant is the forgiveness they have obtained. It is impossible for Allah to bestow mercy on someone with whom He is angry and has not forgiven. This is the wisdom behind why the attribute Ghafur (All-Forgiving) is always paired with Rahim (All-Merciful) in the Qur'an—appearing together approximately 64 times.

In short, a person who does not receive Allah's forgiveness cannot possibly receive His mercy. Therefore, Allah negates His forgiveness for the polytheists as a sign of the impossibility of them receiving His mercy:

إِنَّ اللَّهَ لَا يَغْفِرُ أَنْ يُشْرَكَ بِهِ وَيَغْفِرُ مَا دُونَ ذَلِكَ لِمَنْ يَشَاءُ

"Indeed, Allah does not forgive association with Him (shirk), but He forgives what is less than that for whom He wills..." (QS. An-Nisa: 48).

Allah also sends curses (la'nah) upon non-believers who die in a state of disbelief as a sign of their exclusion from His mercy. Curse is the opposite of mercy. If Allah curses someone, it means they will not receive His mercy. Thus, when we pray for mercy (using the word almarhum or similar) for someone outside of Islam, we are essentially contradicting Allah's declaration regarding the non-believers:

إِنَّ الَّذِينَ كَفَرُوا وَمَاتُوا وَهُمْ كُفَّارٌ أُولَئِكَ عَلَيْهِمْ لَعْنَةُ اللَّهِ وَالْمَلَائِكَةِ وَالنَّاسِ أَجْمَعِينَ...

"Indeed, those who disbelieve and die while they are disbelievers—upon them is the curse of Allah and of the angels and of all mankind..." (QS. Al-Baqarah: 161-162).

Furthermore, Allah's mercy is the cause for a servant to enter Paradise. When we pray for someone to be given mercy by Allah, we are in reality praying for them to be admitted into Paradise. That is the pinnacle of mercy and forgiveness. The Prophet ﷺ said:

"مَا مِنْ أَحَدٍ يُدْخِلُهُ عَمَلُهُ الْجَنَّةَ"... قَالَ: "وَلَا أَنَا، إِلَّا أَنْ يَتَغَمَّدَنِي رَبِّي بِرَحْمَةٍ"

"No one will enter Paradise by his deeds alone." Someone asked, "Not even you, O Messenger of Allah?" He replied: "Not even I, unless my Lord envelops me in His mercy (so that I may enter Paradise)." (Narrated by Al-Bukhari: 5763 and Muslim: 2816).

Therefore, when we say almarhum to those of other faiths, it is equivalent to asking Allah to admit them into Paradise and forgive their sins, despite Allah clearly stating He will not forgive the polytheist. This is compounded by Allah's fixed decision that He will never admit non-believers into His Paradise:

لَا تُفَتَّحُ لَهُمْ أَبْوَابُ السَّمَاءِ وَلَا يَدْخُلُونَ الْجَنَّةَ حَتَّى يَلِجَ الْجَمَلُ فِي سَمِّ الْخِيَاطِ...

"...The gates of Heaven will not be opened for them, nor will they enter Paradise until a camel enters through the eye of a needle..." (QS. Al-A’raf: 40).

The expression "until a camel enters through the eye of a needle" signifies an impossibility. Imam Ibn Al-Khathib Ar-Razi stated:

وَالْمَعْنَى أَنَّهُ تَعَالَى لَمَّا أَخْبَرَ عَنْهُمْ أَنَّهُ يُدْخِلُهُمُ النَّارَ، فَطَلَبُ الْغُفْرَانَ لَهُمْ جَارٍ مَجْرَى طَلَبِ أَنْ يُخْلِفَ اللَّهُ وَعْدَهُ وَوَعِيدَهُ...

"The meaning is that since Allah Ta’ala informed that He will enter them into the Fire, seeking forgiveness for them is akin to asking Allah to go back on His promise and threat, which is not permissible (for Allah)." (Al-Mafatih Al-Ghaib, 16/158)

This principle was strictly applied by Abu Hurairah. He once said:

"رَحِمَ اللهُ رَجُلاً اسْتَغْفَرَ لِأَبِي هُرَيرَةَ وَلِأُمِّهِ"، قُلْتُ: "وَلِأَبِيهِ؟" قَالَ: "لَا، إِنَّ أَبِي مَاتَ وَهُوَ مُشْرِكٌ"

"May Allah have mercy on the man who seeks forgiveness for Abu Hurairah and his mother." I (the narrator) asked, "And for his father too?" He replied, "No, because his father died as a polytheist." (Reported by Ath-Thabari in Jami’ Al-Bayan: 17339).

If seeking forgiveness for a non-believer is clearly forbidden, seeking mercy is even more so. Mercy is the cause for entering Paradise and having sins forgiven—both of which contradict many of Allah’s declarations in the Qur'an. The expression almarhum signifies a prayer for mercy. For a Muslim, it is valid. For a non-believer, it violates Allah's command. Praying for mercy for one who died in disbelief is like praying for mercy for Iblis (Satan), for Allah has declared a curse upon Iblis just as He has declared a curse upon those who die in disbelief. This is why it is haram to use the terms almarhum/ah for those who died outside of Islam. Wallahu a’lam bish shawab.