The Worst Wedding Reception

Love and marriage are inherent natural dispositions (fitrah) for every human being. It is a moment that will always be anticipated, especially for the two beloved souls who have been brought together in a sacred union (mahligai) that will be remembered throughout their lives. Therefore, it is natural that its beginning is commemorated in the form of a euphoric celebration of happiness, seasoned with various congratulations and gifts from friends and relatives. This serves as a sign of blessing and support for them to move forward with commitment and bond, so that they may always walk side by side amidst a showering of love and struggle as they navigate life in the future.

However, Satan remains Satan. They will try to ruin the moment of marriage, regardless of whether the attendees and guests are aware or not, especially those currently enveloped in joy. This starts from various acts of disobedience (maksiat) being sung, the flaws of so-and-so being discussed, to the flaunting of titles and wealth. A wedding moment that should invite beauty and blessing instead turns into an occasion that invites sin and wrath.

It is not uncommon to find wedding receptions full of extravagance, deliberately exposed here and there just to elevate social status and position, especially if the couple getting married are figures covered in fame. Islam recommends holding a walimah or wedding reception, not merely to release happiness, let alone as a competition to show off worldly greatness and achievements. Instead, the reception is held as a moment to share with others and those in need. Some people with the inner character of Qarun (a person noted for extreme wealth and arrogance) and steeped in arrogance often use this moment to intentionally display their haughtiness by inviting only the rich and those in high positions while marginalizing those whom they deem not well-established. This is especially true if the attendees are guests famous for being immersed in "gold and diamonds" or possessing many assets and savings. Abu Hurairah once spoke about the losers of the end of time in relation to wedding feasts:

شَرُّ الطَّعَامِ طَعَامُ الوَلِيمَةِ، يُدْعَى لَهَا الأَغْنِيَاءُ وَيُتْرَكُ الفُقَرَاءُ

“The worst of food is the food of the wedding feast (walimah) to which the rich are invited and the poor are left out (not invited).” (HR. Al-Bukhari: 5177 and Muslim: 1432).

Although this is only the saying of Abu Hurairah, its meaning is marfu’ (attributed back) to the Messenger of Allah, as expressed by Imam An-Nawawi. Imam An-Nawawi said, “The meaning of this hadith is a response to the condition that occurred in society after the Messenger of Allah, where people prioritized the rich and their like in various wedding feasts, giving them special treatment in terms of invitation, preferring them in terms of delicious food, focusing on meeting and hosting them, and so forth, as commonly happens in many wedding receptions...” (Sharh Shahih Muslim, 9/237)

If this situation already occurred during the time of the Companions, then we should certainly not be surprised if it happens in our time. It is only up to us: will we make our wedding moment the worst wedding or, conversely, make it the best wedding by not distinguishing between poor and rich guests, or by prioritizing the poor guests? Because everything good must start with something good. How can a marriage be good and lasting if it starts with a poor beginning?! May Allah ruin a marriage that discriminates in treatment toward guests based on their social and economic status.